Thursday, February 14, 2008

Elia Reigns Cracker Jack Queen

Press Release for Immediate


Tampa, Fla. (February 14, 2007)

Contact: Mickey Mouse or Goofy at the

Office of Hot Air at the ROSSAC administration-board bunker.

The Intergalactic Cracker-jack Gimcrack Education Foundation Group for Cracker Jack Nobels

Names Elia Superintendent of the Millennium!

–The award carries with it all the esteem that it deserves, says the Intergalactic Crackerjack Education Foundation Group for Cracker Jack Nobels;

It also carries with it a Dempsey Dumpster of Cracker Jacks dumped on Ms. Elia's ROSSAC bureaucrat bunker on the podium in the board room.


This coveted award comes from the following Elia achievements:

*Pumping up her salary to $300,000, highest among the nation’s greedy superintendents;

*Stealing her “bonus” money from the teachers’ work of raising student scores;

*Keeping her bonus money tied to how many are enrolled in AP, not how many pass the test;

*Dominating a servile board into working for her, not for taxpayers, students, and teachers;

*Letting the adulterous Board Chair La Belle Dame sans Merci Man-eater Falliero savage parents when they come to the mike in board meetings to petition for redress of grievances;

*Mauling the English language by not learning basic grammar and punctuation that the students in her education-plantation racket must pass to graduate;

*Inserting kindergarten sycophants, early-childhood suck-ups, and home-ec sadists into $100,000 plus administrative perches who often need pricey consultants with flash cards brought in to teach them how to do their jobs;

*Laughing all the way to the bank

Hillsborough County Intergalactic Cracker-jack Gimcrack Education Foundation President Daffy Duck Bill Hoffman nominated Elia for her support of the Foundation and its programs.

Daffy Duck Bill specifically notes Elia’s active support for the Foundation’s Shut-the-Teachers-Out-of-All-Decisions-Affecting-Education

*Punishing teachers by such petty retaliation as messing up teachers' schedules if they spoke at the board in protest of Elia’s dumping another class onto teachers’ daily class load in the Elia sneak attack not opposed by the supine board;

*Making the Professional Standards Office the Hillsborough County Schools Abu Ghraib of the state;

*Treating sniveling board members like her palace varlets;

*Gadding around the state with swelled head and hypertrophied ego to attend bureaucrat summits on how to keep teachers demoralized so that the bureaucrats can continue lord it over school populations, to jerk around school employees, and to continue to raise their salaries because they have received so many Crackerjack prizes from other bureaucrats for achievement of Foundation goals of ripping off the teachers and reducing them to ciphers even though they and their students are the reason why there are schools in the first place.

*Training school-board members to mimic Pavlovian dogs’ automatic acquiescence every time she whistles that it is time to jump. These performers of doggie tricks are the duty of

Jennifer Faliero, Chair

Carol W. Kurdell, Vice Chair

Doretha W. Edgecomb

April Griffin

Jack R. Lamb, Ed.D.

Candy Olson

Susan L. Valdes

Elia received the award in the category of districts larger than 50,000 students. And in districts where the obsequious board members don’t give a damn about students and teachers.

Thunder! Lightening! Drum rolls! Ta tum-de diddle dum!

Backing up of the Cracker Jack dump truck to unload a gazillion Cracker Jacks on ROSSAC. Crash! Crunch! Grind! Pulverize! Macerate! Obliterate! Detonate! Entomb! Spread on the Sands of Time at Ozymandius' tomb!


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